Complete Apprentice Autobiographies & Progress

COMPLETE APPRENTICE AUTOBIOGRAPHIES & PROGRESS

Zee (Carol) Zarbock

Thinking of the reader reading my autobiography is a bit of a scary thing - not for me so much, but for them! After having recently done a 1-hour interview for a local tech newspaper, I realize that the story is a bit much all in one go. Revealed a piece at a time, like peeling an onion, the story is much less daunting. But it is what it is, and here are some of the central (not all!) bits and pieces that makes me who I am today.

One of the most influential people in my life was my paternal grandmother. I spent many hours with Winnie from the time of my earliest memories until her death at the age of 93. She was one of the happiest and fulfilled people I have ever known. In her later years when she was in the country Iowa nursing home that overlooked the valley where she grew up, I'd come to visit her only to hear her laughing from quite a ways down the hall. I'd come into her room and see her in her wheel chair gazing over her valley. She would only stop laughing when she realized I was there. "Why Grandma, what's so funny?" She'd smile delightedly, always happy to see me. "I was just thinking about the time when _________." Fill in the blank. It was always some hilarious story or other from her life. She'd laugh so hard when she related it to me that often tears would run down her face. Though her world was small by choice - she was a devoted farm wife who could have done anything or gone anywhere if she chose - she loved her life just the way it was. Her valley, her farm, and her family fulfilled her to endless delight. She accomplished everything in life she wanted to, no regrets, and spent her last years reflecting and enjoying all those cherished memories.

I knew from my mid-teens that this was the person I wanted to model my life after. My world would be bigger though. She saw to that. For years as an early teen she would take my sister and me to the Kiwanis Travelogues that came to the Page Theater once a month during the school year in Shenandoah. My sister got bored after a year or so, so for several years it was just my Grandma and me. The scenery and cultures of the world were revealed to us, comfortable in our armchairs, one narrated silent film after another. It was enough for my Grandma. It wasn't enough for me.

Enrolled in a college as a music major, at the age of 20, I had my first opportunity to travel abroad for three weeks on a choir tour through England and Wales. While others in the trip clumped up in little Americas of 7-15 people walking down the streets, I spent my spare time wandering streets and lanes by myself, taking buses to the country, taking in the history, art, culture, sights, and sounds like a sponge, and photographing everything. I was finally in my own 3-D travelogue. Somehow I always found my way back. Once back in the States, I took a summer school class in photography and developed a keen interest in B&W shooting, developing, and printing. Unusual, moody looking scenery and old people particularly fascinated me as subjects.

Over the next few years I studied to become an opera singer and director. I became a scuba diving instructor and dive master. Married, came back to singing, lived in Athens, Greece, attended opera auditions around Europe, traveled extensively in Europe, some in Asia and the Middle East (Saudi Arabia and Turkey). I moved to Boulder, Colorado and became an entrepreneur, having the first desktop publishing company in the state back in 1985. Wicca became a big part of my life as did a dear friend named Harry, who continues to be a major influence on my life to this day. I lost myself there for a few years in work and had my daughter, Astara in 1988, got divorced, and decided to go back to school when she was 6-months old and follow one of my loves again - classical singing. She usually came to class with me and attended recitals and concerts before she was even one. When I performed, she was strapped into her stroller just offstage where she could see me and I could see her. I got a Master of Music in 1992 after transferring to Nebraska purely for the joy of doing it. I had no intention of teaching studio voice. In Nebraska I acquired one of my more interesting research projects - I found circumstantial evidence that Mozart knew about the vampire legends when he wrote the opera Don Giovanni. I have put some time in on this project as I can for a decade, and hopefully it will reach fruition in the next couple of years.

Before completing my MM though, I heard an Australian Aboriginal didjeridu played for the first time in 1989. That primitive, spiritual sound touched my soul. I had to go to Australia and find answers to questions I had about where we as humans have come from. Australian Aboriginal culture is thought to be the oldest extant culture in the world, going back at least 40,000 years, and possibly even 120,000. The sound of the didjeridu was the muse calling me back to the life of discovery and adventure. Having no money to speak of, I applied to the Australian government to have a Ph.D. funded to study ethnomusicology with Professor Helen Payne at The University of Queensland. To my great surprise, they funded it. In 1992 fresh from graduating, my daughter (not quite 5 yet!) and I boarded a plane to move to Brisbane. We spent three years there, coming home in June of 1995. It was at once the best and worst of times. The woman I went to study with turned out to be wacko. She was fired 1.5 years into my studies but was not replaced. I was left with insufficient supervision and was unable to complete my Ph.D. Money was incredibly tight - I didn't even have a car for the whole years we were there! We had no support system and were always worried about our next meal and paying the rent. Yet, we managed. Something always worked out. It was during this period that the block I'd always had that prevented me from doing creative writing was removed. I guess all the emotional turmoil jarred something lose. The ordeal with Helen Payne nearly put me in the hospital. But I started writing and started healing. I haven't stopped writing since then and have a whole stack of screenplays in various stages of completion, one very interesting stage play and one novel also in progress.

In 1994 there we became involved with the other indigenous peoples of Australia - the Torres Strait Islanders. My daughter and I began attending some public functions where we became friends with the Islanders. My little blonde haired, blue-eyed girl played with the little very dark skinned Torres Strait Islander children like she'd known them all her life. The elders fell in love with her and reckoned that her mum must be okay. We found ourselves adopted by a clan who hail from the islands of Saibai, Duan, and Boigu - all islands of Australia since the 1870s.

Since 1995 we have been back in Colorado with my Ph.D. unfinished and I have been wrapped up in the daily grind of life. My job as a technical writer in software development has provided us with a good life, though not opulent. Until this year it had also been very flexible and I could work at home a lot. This really made up for the boredom and I could pursue many of my interests in the time I would otherwise have been spending on a commute. In 2001 as my daughter was about to turn 13 I started thinking more about my true passions again. With this in mind, I went back to school on the company's dime to earn a Master of Science Degree in Information Technology (August 2002), a Global e-Management certificate (Sept. 2002), and an MBA (forthcoming, June 2003). As always, my daughter has accompanied me during much of my schooling. We are pretty much inseparable and enjoy each other's company a great deal.

But where is all this going you are by no doubt wondering now! It's heading towards a major career change. I'm going back to my love of the arts. Hopefully I will be able to make a good living at it and not have to stay in the corporate world, but what will be will be. As strange as it may sound, an MSIT and MBA will be very helpful in my future career as the model for media creation, distribution and delivery undergoes a major shift in the next decade. Ultimately, I'd like to be an independent filmmaker - not so much behind the camera, but rather directing and producing. I need to tell my stories. They are wonderful, quirky, fun, and entertaining. Not Hollywood boring at all. I have so many to tell! They do not have mass appeal, but they will make many people smile.

I also have an obligation to tell a story to the world of the Torres Strait Islander people, and perhaps others I do not yet have an association with. Real life stories that will help indigenous people be understood and help them with some of their social issues. And I have the opportunity which I must pursue. A big trip is being planned for June of 2003 in which the doors to the Torres Strait are being thrown wide open for us. For this I need to know how to be a jack of all trades in filmmaking. I'll be behind the camera. My daughter will handle the sound. My sister the lights. I will teach them (can you imagine?)! And I don't know how to do any of it right now. I need to know how to do everything!

And this is where you come in! This is the next piece I need to get to where I'm going. I'm not exactly sure where that is just now, though I am planning on a major move and career change for July of 2003. My dream would be to move to Newfoundland for very personal reasons. Short of that, Minnesota or Wisconsin are on the list if I am not able to accomplish Newfoundland. Will I be able to move into a media position by then? I don't know! I know I won't be able to be a self-funded Indie by then. Perhaps I will still be working in e-management. I don't know. But I'm 47 years old - nearly 48 - and this is the beginning of the phase for which I have so long been preparing - my chance to contribute to the betterment of humanity. My obligation to Colorado and corporate life is complete in June when I receive my MBA. I am open to all that comes after that. I want to feel alive and happy, like my Grandmother, and really make a difference with the years I have left. Being mediocre in corporate America is not the path to that inner happiness. I will not grow old and miserable with "what if" on my lips. I must also show my daughter what I saw in my Grandmother so she will follow her heart and find happiness in her life. That's why she will be tagging along with me frequently during my mentoring. It is the way we have always done things - together. It is the old way, the real way. Not the corporate way.

I have already started my documentary film company, Ziamar Film. It is co-owned by my classificatory Torres Strait Islander sister, Rose Elu.

I have also co-founded a 501(c)(3) foundation called The Crosspoint Foundation.

So things are all headed to a climax and I need your mentoring help to take the last steps. Even the extensive values and ethics training I have been receiving in my MBA has made it very clear in my mind that the time for action is now. I cannot in good conscience and good moral character carry on in my present career.

Many kind regards,
Carol "Z" Zarbock

Hi, Phillip,

This was the easier of the first 2 assignments! (In thinking about my bio, uff, what a rambling mess. You wouldn't know I was a writer! It was my heart talking, not my brain.)

Finding resources was a breeze. See the following:

ONE choice is easy--it stood out above all others for me of those folks who had details and/or web sites:

Q and A Films

Picking 2, 3, 4 or 5 to put on a list, now that is hard. There was quite a clump of 2nd choices, but they were light years down from my first pick. I will have to work on that part some more for you. No one comes even close to how the info on Q and A Films hit me.

Will keep working, however.

1) Location: Denver. Close to me!

2) Size: Small. Principals include:

Eric Altman, Managing Partner & Executive Producer

Nancy Ford, Producer, Writer, Creative Overseer (and good human being, they point out!)

David Quint, Director, Cameraman (Renaissance man, history buff, lover of fine art and modern technology)

Bill Snider, Director, Cameraman (photographic artist)

3) Distance from home and work:

Approximately 20 minutes from my house on a weekend, weekday make that more like 35 minutes from work, probably 30 minutes, unlikely I will be coming from work, however, as I go to school 4 nights a week right after work

4) Influencing factors:

These folks don't seem to be IN YOUR FACE like so many of the others I was looking at. They are more mature in age, appear to be well educated and more refined, extremely well experienced. Quint seems to have quite an interest in history and fine art, which is where I'm coming from--seeing and understanding the present (or future) through the past is very cool in my opinion. They also have some great credits like Denver Art Museum, Denver International Film Festival, etc. Additionally, they work in both feature film (including indie) and documentary, which is where I am definitely at. They seem to work in film as video is not mentioned, but I bet as much as several of them are in to technology they are probably using the right tool for each job. I'm in to both, though obviously the video side for documentary in the middle of practically no where and with no budget! :-)

AND, I LOVED their web site! It really spoke to me. Calmness. Thoroughness. No glitz. Stop and look and read about them and their vision.

November 8, 2002

Mr. Phillip Trout

RE: Carol Zarbock

Dear Phillip:

We have had several conversations with Carol regarding becoming her "official" mentors. Together we have come up with objectives for our relationship and a rough schedule for accomplishing those goals.

Our end objective simply is to prepare Carol with the basic information needed to shoot her film. She will be coached in technical aspects allowing her to use a camera, sound gear and basic lighting equipment. In short, the basic tools needed to allow her to confidently and competently capture the images she wants. We will also work with her, likely via exploring distribution possibilities for her film, on the business side of the film industry. This instruction will come via training in our office, phone conversations, introduction to vendors and set/location production time.

As our company may be relocating to Los Angeles, it is necessary we focus on helping Carol reach her goals within the next four months. The plan is to spend approximately four hours per week working together. Carol has schedule limitations which make evening and weekend work the only option although she will have more free time after the first of the year.

Thanks for contacting us; you have a unique program for learning and we're happy to be a part of it. Carol is certainly a capable person and I'm very confident she will enjoy much success.

Sincerely:

Eric Altman
Q+A Films

November 11, 2002

From: "David Quint"
To: Carol Z Zarbock - zee
Subject: Re: other gear

Z -

Got a potential job coming up that you can likely join me on and in fact may be able to get you a little $ for the recent purchase of your equipment as a rental.

I spoke with my friend at Film/Video Equipment about the rest of your gear needs:
Boom mike - Sennheiser - $575
Fish pole - (to hold it overhead!) - $165
Shock mount - (isolates mic from fishpole) - $60

Wireless lavalier mic (good for walk and talk or drive and talk or run
and talk) $625

A 2 channel mixer for control volume levels on the fly is near $1000(!).

My recommendation for a light kit is an Arriflex Soft bank kit - 4 lights with stands, that is switchable between 110/220. Quality lights/multiple voltages.

I'm still working on tripod. As for the steadicam Jr., I think that the suggested weights are usually less scientific. If it's possible to buy one from B&H, with the option of returning, I'd say buy it, try it and see.

Hope this helps. Let's talk soon.

Q

November 18, 2002

Journey #2

The second installment of the account of my journey summarizes several interactions with Eric Altman and David Quint from Q and A Films.

Last week I had a long phone discussion with David and got direction on the rest of the gear I needed for my project. The conversation revealed some biases that we each have - his in favor of the camera work, mine in favor of the sound. I think I also conveyed to him successfully that this is going to probably be 70% fly-on-the-wall type work, so that tempers the equipment selection.

With all that in mind, he hooked me up with a gal at the local supply house. I went down there last Friday and picked up pretty much the rest of what I needed except for lights. Still working on that situation. I might get a 3-4 light kit, but probably won't take it to Australia. I need a battery powered light source for that trip. Also, David wants me to get a Steadicam Jr., but we are not certain it will work with my camera. Stated weight is 4 pounds. My camera is 4.4. We need to do some research to find out some details.

David has been out of town on a gig, so we will be getting together later this week or the weekend. I am planning on taking my gear to Iowa over the Thanksgiving holiday to do some work and he'll give me some crash course instruction so I can experiment. Right now I look at all that stuff in a rather clueless fashion! Ha!

I've already been asked to film two 5-8 minute movies for a gal in Boulder after the first of the year. I have happily agreed to do it and look forward to the experience. I will also get to edit the work, which will be extremely instructional for me. I wouldn't mind turning editing into a part-time business in future if I turn out to be any good at it.

Turned in a draft treatment for my documentary to David and Eric today and will get some feedback from Eric on Wednesday evening.

More later!

Carol Zee Zarbock

November 22, 2002

Journey #3

This is the third installment of my video/film journey.

This past week I have been involved in email and phone discussions with Eric about the treatment for my project. He said I wrote a "very academic treatment!" For the purposes of possibly trying to find an interested party, he asked me to think more sensationally about it while still being true to the subject matter. I will give that a go over the weekend and see what I can come up with. Meanwhile, I have involved Rose Elu, my Torres Strait Islander sister (she lives in Brisbane and is co-producer of this documentary with me), in a 4-way email conversation (also including David) about kupai omasker, Torres Strait Islanders, indigenous Australia, and politics.

I spent three hours with David last night learning about my gear. After three hours I was pretty well saturated and had barely scratched the surface, but I at least know how to hook things up and turn them on! He helped me cut the foam in my Pelican box so everything would fit nicely, except tripod, mic stick, and reflector, of course. I'll get a hard tube for stands to transport to Oz.

We talked more about my sound needs and he wants to consult some of his sound friends. I really want to think about being prepared to capture some of the songs in stereo where possible, and I also talked about the wide dynamic range that the mic needs to capture - from high, nasal, piercing singing to very low, resonating Papuan drums. I may get a second mic like I have and a stereo stick or stand, or possibly different mics altogether. He will consult his sound friends about it. He also wants me to be able to monitor from the headphones off the camera rather than the mixer, to be sure what's being laid down on the tape, audio-wise, so he is going to have me get another cable for that. The reflector I'd gotten turned out to be great as it is silver on one side and gold on the other. He said the gold was much better to use with black skinned folks, the silver, with white, so I'm prepared in that regard! Ninety percent of our film will be black folks.

He's also going down to Film/Video today and taking my sound equipment with him (he lives pretty close to that warehouse) to see if they will wire up the mic stick internally to make the cables easier to deal with. He also has about six questions to try and find answers to, which includes the light issue. I'll pop by Film/Video late this afternoon or Monday to pick up my stuff and anything else that's been set out there for me in answer to the 5-6 questions. Kay Baker down there has been really helpful. She also had WONDERFUL things to say about David and Eric when I was down there last week. David remarked last night that he was very impressed with what I'd gotten (thanks to Kay!) - everything was just right. Not too much, not to little. The small size of everything did amaze him, however! I guess things have miniaturized quite a bit. I love it, because it's all manageable for me and will produce great results.

Astara went with me to his house/studio, which is a gorgeous Victorian he and his wife are restoring (they have 3 children, 1, 4, 6, by the way). Astara was glued to his every word about the audio stuff since she will be the audio engineer! This is terrific for her to learn and I'm delighted we can share this experience together. As I mentioned before, he's not really a sound guy, but he's getting some help on the issues we need to resolve for my project.

David wants me to get this, that, and the other thing to build my "kit" - loves toys! But I have been keeping him on track for my project needs. For example, he was going on and on about how wonderful HMI lighting is when shooting indoors because it would cast light the same hue as outdoor sunlight - blue - and the two would match. Unfortunately, HMI lighting would run me $3k or more to purchase when a simple solution, I pointed out, was to not shoot the subject in view of a window to the outside! David means well with these points, though. Like I said, he's a gadget freak! For me, simpler is better, because it will be less weight to lug to Australia, less intrusive, and the less to go wrong. He is very receptive, and even reaffirming, when I keep my project on track the way I envision it. This is a great 2-way, collaborative mentoring situation!

I'm sure I'll end up with all the gear he suggests some day, but I'm very focused on my project between now and June! These guys are great! Yeah!!!!!

Carol Zee Zarbock

January 9, 2003

It has been a while since I've written an update. Things have been so busy with the holidays, school, the new year, etc. I have a few minutes today and thought I'd catch up a little bit.

Before Christmas, I was going to go hang out with David on a music video shoot, but the gig got canceled and I've not yet had the chance to go out with him on a job. Hopefully I will be able to do that soon. When he's needed to shoot in video instead of film, he has borrowed my video gear a couple times when I've not been able to go out with him. He gets me a couple hundred bucks for the rental, which is really appreciated! I'm happy to let David use the gear. The more he knows about my camera, I figure, the better that will help me learn all its details. It is extremely complex and I'm sure I'm only using it in its simplest mode so far. Because it can shoot in 24P mode, it is a hot item.

David and Eric have been really terrific. I had my own first shoot this past Sunday that I had organized - I have gotten some people together locally to work on developing a documentary or series of them on issues they're involved with. Both David and Eric came along, which I thought was really above and beyond the "call of duty". I couldn't have done it without them as I am still trying to get used to all the gear. All those cables in particular are a bit much for me. I am out of town this weekend, but next weekend, I think I will just practice setting up and taking down a few times and see if I can get a lot faster at it and gain some confidence.

I haven't had time to download the tape into my Mac yet, but I will do so after the weekend. I hope I got some interesting tape to work with. David thought it looked pretty good on the monitor when I was shooting. I am thinking that taping this formative discussion will not only give me some material to practice editing with, it may end up being included in any end product(s) as part of the process. We'll see. It is interesting and fun, in any case! I am getting as much help as I can take and they have both been completely available for me as I've needed.

David independently is starting to get a fair bit of camera work - mostly small shooting gigs, but it is starting to increase. He's decided to put off going to L.A. for the time being, though I think it may happen before 2003 is over. I am personally glad for this delay as I don't feel under quite such a crunch in this mentoring program, but I think having him in L.A. will be good for us all at some point.

Eric and Q+A haven't had much going on. I've turned Eric loose on my Australian documentary project to try and raise funds from media sources while I go after the Australian government grants. I know he and his kids want to tag along with us to Australia, so I told him if he could raise enough funds on the media side, he could take expenses out of that for the three of them to tag along. I have proposed working on some creative projects and have specifically donated one to us as a group to see if we can turn it into something. Will be interesting to hear comments about that.

Will write again in a few weeks!

Carol Zee Zarbock

Update 3-6-2003 -- the intern needs an intern (or 2!)

Phillip,

Okay, here's a wild one! Eric Altman introduced me to Rick Bernstein of the Morrison Theater today (lifelong friend). His theater is relocating to Golden and Eric thought it would be some tech experience for me and my camera. Uff, the whole thing suddenly mushroomed into a WONDERFUL project to save the arts in Denver--one for which I have little or no time to add onto my plate prior to my Australia trip, but this is the kind of important work I was born to do.

So, I just posted for two interns (unpaid, unfortunately) through the business college at DU where I attend, to help. I'd like to arrange that someone gets some credit for this. Actually, I think I've already found my production assistant--she's in the Women's College at DU and has agreed to do this with or without credit.

"Z"

Opportunity: Spring quarter 2003 opportunity for two dedicated interns to assist documentary filmmaker on video to present economic benefits of the arts in the Denver metro area. Primary story will be about a small theater that is moving into Golden at the city's request because they know it will bring economic benefits to the community. From there, the positive economic impact of the arts on the metro area, other arts organizations, and the political process will be examined with a case being made as to why funding should not be cut. The cultural benefits will also be explored. A comparison of the economic impact of sports franchises will be made as well as an examination of the differences between the two business models.

Benefits: You will get to know local arts leaders, business leaders, movers and shakers, political process, and politicians and officials. You will make a difference in keeping arts in the metro area healthy and alive. You will participate in a documentary that is intended for broadcast and cable TV and may become a tool for other communities.

In November 2004, the Scientific and Cultural Facilities District is up for reauthorization by voters (http://www.scfd.org/future.shtml) and it may just go away if someone doesn't make the point that the arts are good for Denver and Colorado from an economic perspective. You can make a difference! You will also get to learn the documentary process and you may participate in production if you are interested.

Intern 1: Production Assistant
Required skills: Extremely good organizational and communication skills required. Must keep track of multiple schedules, locations, and contacts. Preferred skills: Good research skills.
Hours per week: 10-20, variable hours - including days, nights, & weekends as arranged.

Intern 2: Business and Financial analyst.
Required skills: Excellent research, analytical, and financial skills.
Preferred skills: Good written and presentation skills.
Hours per week: 5-10, variable hours.

April 2, 2004

From: "Zee"
Organization: Ziamar Film Ltd.

Subject: guess what!?!

Our 10-minute "trailer" just won a silver Telly Award.